East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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