all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
