We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
