I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
