youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
