i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Randomize
