Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it was like eating out sand paper
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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