Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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