She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
