dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
