You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
