Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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