That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
