That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
