Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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