i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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