The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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