There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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