Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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