I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
