Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My hand turned me down
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
