Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
