fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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