Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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