If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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