Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
