I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
