Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
