how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
