Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
