your room smells of hookers.
And success
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize