People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
