she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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