I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
