I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
