This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
