Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He better not be in your backpack
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
