covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
