You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
