he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize