break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
