never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
