Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
