would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
only you would photoshop your dick
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
