the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
