I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize