you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
do herpes really smell.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
