I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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