i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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