Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
