Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
