So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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