ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
