i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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