Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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