I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
