so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
