I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
