I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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