Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize